Making the invisible, visible.
As a Targeted Individual my suffering is perceived as none existent by people unfamiliar with this crime because it does not leave visible scares like other forms of abuse and torture. While this crime is internalised , its equally damaging and traumatising that it needs acknowledging in one form or another, as the trauma will manifest in situations that might not be ideal. Bolts of angry, frustration and destructive behaviours are all signs of unresolved issues resulting in my torture and abuse with direct energy weapons. I have always felt that doing this project will be of significant benefit to my health. Not only will it be a form of art therapy, its about me developing real life skills for further development my artistic skills. Prior to my targeting I was keen on exploring textiles and images. People using images on clothing to express themselves. This is an area developing that I have been observing for a while. I want to believe I will not always be a victim of this crime and I have to think of a future beyond my life as a Targeted Individual. I want to develop skills I can use for the rest of my life. As well as using this project for my own art therapy, its also for my wellbeing as working on this project will reduce my online time & enable me to focus on me developing practical skills I can use in my life.
I still have a dream of becoming an art therapist helping others who want to use art to facilitate their healing. as that was the direction I thought I was going to take, having chosen an Arts based subject to study at college and university. So the idea is always at the back of my mind. People come to me on social media platforms or via direct messages to express their pain, anger and frustration of being targeted individuals. Although I can sympathise with them, I am left feeling very frustrated that I can not do more to help them. Not only do I have to deal with my own experience of being targeted individual, I have to step up and help those who need my help. It means listening to what they have to say, reassuring them that I understand and validated their experience. Who knew my active listening skills will come in handy beyond my former job as a support worker. This crime takes it another different level though, but I understand the significance of being supported and motivated to fight for what’s right in a very unjust and cruel world. I acknowledge my limitations as a none qualified counselor, I can not lead people to real solutions they need and deserve for the integrity of their health and wellbeing. I recognise that they is lack of funding for Targeted Individuals like myself to access counselling specifically designed to address issues involving trauma based mind control, cybertorture and all other forms of non-consensual human experimentation. Its definitely one of the issues I would like to address in my book, The Targeted Individual Conundrum, that I hope will be the masterplan to dealing with all Targeted Individuals issues and facilitate tentative steps and developments to make targeted individuals understood and treated with dignity and respect in all aspects of their lives.
Because of my 20 years working as a Support Worker, advocating for vulnerable individuals and making improvements in their quality of life. Its skills that I try to implement in my own life as much as possible. Understanding my situation, calculating my short comings helps me to address some of the challenges I experience. At the moment I am finding my sleeping routine very undesirable and my twitter addiction destructive. These are bad habits that I have formed as a result of being a targeted individual. Some can be coping mechanisms that may have worked in the past but have recently become undesirable because I have discovered an urgency in me that wants to grow and evolve as my needs and wants are not being met by continuing these behaviours. I want to have a social life with friends I can physically see and socialise with, get married, have children. Have an job and income. All those things this crime has robbed from me.
Devising a new daily routine where my Protest Wear development form the central part of my day over everything else going on in my life. Its going to be my art therapy, my sanctuary and personal space to relate to myself and I against this crime.